Saturday, March 29, 2008

I woke up next to Sam this morning. After he yawned, stretched, rubbed his little eyes and then finally opened them, he said to me in the most serious voice, " I want coffee". I chuckled at hearing my 2 year old say that, and with that he became increasingly serious and said it again. "I want coffee", but this time he said it more emphatically. Great, my son has become a coffee snob, just like his mother.

I didn't make any coffee, but it all turned out okay because Sam then moved on to showing me his "boobies". This kid is a crack up.

I drove my tired and hungry self to the lab this morning to have my insulin levels checked again. It's always a 12 hour fasting draw, so I was good and starving by the time I got there, because it had been 14 hours since I last ate. Oh the suffering... (with a huge drip of sarcasm) I think I have enough substance on my chubby self to last 24 hours, at least. I've not been all that careful about what I have been eating, so I won't be surprised if my results are less than great and I am once again teetering on the verge of full blown diabetes. Here's to hoping that God understands stress-eating and performs a miracle for me. Oh! Poor, poor puffy me.

One week of Spring break down, one week to go. It really hasn't been awful, but it could be better for sure. We've had some fun though--Nana took us all to see "Horton Hears A Who" yesterday and it was a great flick. Sam would not consent to sitting still however, so I walked back and forth with him at the bottom of the theater stairs. At one point though, I lost him completely! He had wandered to the front of the theater, to the floor right under the screen, and over to the other side....I didn't want to tick off the people in the front row by walking in front of them, so I went the other way reasoning that there really was no where for Sam to go. But, in the time it took me to do that, Sam was gone. My heart jumped into my throat and I started to panic. Just as I was about to run out of the theater to grab an usher by the shirttails and beg him to help me, I saw Sam meandering about near the exit door. When I saw him, I had conflicting emotions--I was intensely relieved and I was somewhat angry at the kid! Thankfully, he finally settled down and sat with me on the floor of the theater and we finished the movie.

I should be working right now, but I am not...another shift gone by with no call. I suppose it's time to find a job that's not per Diem...but what the heck, has none of the nursing staff at any facility succumbed to the flu and called in for a replacement?? Oy vey, it's just not my day.

On that so very optimistic note, I really think that I need to stop dwelling on the negative, as real as it is, and begin to look at things in a more positive light. I should focus on that which is good and that which is wonderful, no? I need a magical shift in thinking...grabbing on to each little moment and holding onto it with both hands close to my heart. I know that changing my 'stinking thinking' won't change my life into a gigantic beautiful Chocolate Covered Strawberry, but it would give me enough oomph to get up off my big-wallowing-in-self-pity-butt, and learn to enjoy life again.

All things considered, my life is pretty sweet.

I think that focusing more on the good that is my life would help me out tremendously. My children are fabulous people. I love them even though they drive me batty. A lot.

I love to watch my daughter stand in front of the mirror flouncing her beautiful blond hair back and forth--stopping every so often to re-apply her lipstick while singing songs about how pretty she is and how much she loves her mommy.

I love to listen to my smallest son have a story read to him by his biggest big brother, with a total look of joy on his face.

I adore hearing the belly laughs from the kids in the rare moments they are getting along.

See? So many things to be thankful for. So many things to be content with.

Carrying on....sorry for the sappiness. It was just for a moment :)

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