Monday, September 29, 2008

In An Instant

Life as one knows it can change in the blink of an eye. I've witnessed it before in the death of my brother. I've witnessed it in the near death of my newborn son. These snippets of tragedy seem to fray the fibers of what makes us whole.

Today, I visited my boss in the Critical Care Unit. Yes, he is a doctor, but this time, he's the patient not the healer. This dear, sweet man's life was changed yesterday when he was involved in a tragic motorcycle accident. He was thrown from his motorcycle when somehow he lost control of it. He wasn't wearing a helmet. His face and head took the brunt of the impact. Seeing him today lying in a hospital bed was very surreal. He's the one that heals people with his superb surgical skills. He's the one that brings comfort to the sickest of patients. Now, he's the one that needs healing. Please pray for him...for his wife and 4 children...for his healing and recovery. His name is Bruce, and he is very special to so many people. Things look dismal now, but I know that God can heal and bring wholeness to him again. I know that. And I have hope that he will.

On a different note, my weekend away was great. It was so much fun to hang out with my girlfriends without any children needing anything. It was awesome to have 3 meals a day prepared, served and cleaned up without my having to lift a finger. I didn't really walk away with having had any 'spiritual revelations', but I did walk away refreshed for sure.

I'm having my level II ultrasound at 12:30 tomorrow afternoon. I am nervous and excited all the same. My mom is coming along for moral support. Thanks mom!

I am swamped with laundry to put away and a mountain of Legos on the floor...gotta run!

I'll update tomorrow.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Listen up!

Alright my dear readers...I need a break and I'm taking one. I'm heading up into the mountains for one of those 'Women's Retreats' for the weekend.

I do have some news regarding my pregnancy though. I had a midwife appointment today--it went pretty well, until I had the ultrasound. Something funky is going on in my uterus--the baby was fine and all, but there is an 'extra' sac of some sort next to the baby's amniotic sac. The midwife grabbed the doc to take a look, and from what they could surmise, it is either a miscarried twin gestational sac or something called a 'chorion-amnion separation'. In light of this news, I am off to have a level II ultrasound at an imaging center on Tuesday. I also have to go and have my glucose tolerance test next week. Ewwww.

I'm a bit nervous about the ultrasound, but hopeful that all is well.

Anyway, I'm signing off until at least Sunday night. Try not to miss me too much.


Monday, September 22, 2008

Mentally Dull

I have to admit, stupidness has become a huge pregnancy symptom for me. Okay, maybe not stupid so much as just mentally challenged. Slow. Not as on top of things as normal. I especially feel the challenge around 1:00 in the afternoon while I'm at work. Things start to look fuzzy, my mind wanders--mostly thinking about catching a catnap--and I do believe even my speech and response time slow down. I try to catch a second wind when I leave work and head home, because I know that I have endless responsibilities there. And I really don't want to crab out at everyone. (even though I do tend to do that anyway)

This pregnancy has proven to be quite the challenge in stamina for me. And the funny (or NOT so funny) thing is, that even as tired as I am, I find myself struggling to actually sleep at night. Weird, I know.

We're in quite the rough patch around here at the moment. Eli is causing us troubles galore with his lack of self-control, hubby is feeling very out of whack and he's begun having panic attacks again, Gracie has been tantruming like tantrums are going out of style...and so on, I'll spare you the details. I'm tired. I'm frustrated. I'm worried. And honestly? I'm heartsick.

With all of that, I think I'll sign off and put my puffy feet up. A drink sounds nice right about now...(don't worry, I'm into ice water these days!)


Saturday, September 20, 2008

Life Rushing By...

Time flies, doesn't it? It's hard to grasp how fast most days go by, although there are some days that feel like an eternity.

The kids are home from school until Wednesday, so naturally, these days feel like an eternity :) Our school is finally moving into our new building. We've been situated in a small, country church with the kids in outbuildings. I am so excited to start school Wednesday in a brand-spanking new up to date beautiful building. Plus, it's only a few miles up the road from our new house!

I am feeling more and more pregnant by the day. My energy is looooong gone and I am struggling with nausea quite frequently. My OB called me in a prescription for a wonder drug called Zofran. It's good stuff. Seeing as that it costs $23.50 per pill, it had better darn well be good stuff. I had two peeks at the baby this last week. No matter how many times I see this baby on ultrasound, I still totally stand in awe every time. Baby's heart was beating at a strong 180 beats per minute. So totally amazing. I could have 10 kids and still be amazed at the miracle of pregnancy. (but don't worry, 6 kids IS it, hubby is getting snipped) That being said, I held a newborn baby boy at a friends house made me so thankful for this new baby on the way for us. I couldn't get enough of cuddling him up and smelling his newborn baby smell. There is nothing better in my book.

Anyway, flopping subjects here...

Eli has started to play in the orchestra. He's learning to play the cello and is really loving it. Caleb will be starting this week too, but he'll be playing the viola. I sure hope they want to stick with it because I think that learning to play a musical intstrument is so important. I love the sounds that comes from a cello and viola. Even when there are a few squeaky moments.

We're settling in slowly to the new house...very slowly still. I will be working 3 days a week now which will put hubby being home only 2 evenings per week ( plus the weekends) so time is short to get a lot done. And with school and orchestra practice 4 times a week, time is very short. Almost non existant really. But, it'll happen. I just look at it as less to pick up around the house for now!

Signing off...I'm fading fast. And I need to drink a bucket of water just so I can pee all night. (slight sarcasm there...I pee at least 3 times a night without regard to how much I drink before bed)

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

New Territory

We're pretty much moved in to the new house. I guess it depends on how you look at it. All of the big stuff (except for our 15' trampoline) is out of the 'old' house, just odds and ends remain. Great as that is, the garage here is filled to the brim with boxes. The unpacking is going very slowly. I'm too tired to move a muscle. I've been working this week, and now I'm sick with a sore throat, so I've not been up to much. Oh well, it'll still be there this weekend.

Thankfully, we've already met some great neighbors. (one of them even brought us a freshly baked cake!) The house behind us has 6 kids. The house across the street has 3. And the house up the street has 10. (ten?) Must be in the water. Big families are in style here.

I had another peek at the baby on Monday. AMAZING the difference from last week. I could totally see the arm and leg buds and the flash of the beating heart. I even got to hear that beautiful galloping sound of the heartbeat on the doppler. So awesome. I'm still struggling with nausea, but my main complaint has to be that I can't shake the mind-numbing tiredness. And my ankles are swelling already. Only 32weeks to go!

I'd post some pictures of the goings on here as of late, but the flash drive thing is packed away in a box. Somewhere.

Signing off to catch some zzzzzzzzz's.

Friday, September 12, 2008

It's Almost Here!

Moving day that is. That being said, I am SO unprepared. My house is in total disarray and there are still millions of boxes to be packed. To be honest, I have been lazy. Granted, pregnant and nauseated, but lazy still. I've caught myself more than once in one of those wrinkles-on-the-face-from-the-sheet-and-drool-down-the-chin periods of deep sleep lately. I seriously sometimes don't even remember closing my eyes, but then I am so rudely awakened by the bouncing of bored/hungry/in need of a diaper change child on my bed/couch.

Enough complaining...just wanted to let my readers know (all 5 of you) that I will be offline for a few days. The computer is ready to be unplugged and boxed up until sometime in the (hopefully) very near future. I can't live for long without my hook up to the cyber world.

I'll update later!

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Green Haze

I'm on a ginger ale kick. It's not working. I am still green around the gills. I'm supposed to be eating a mere 9 times a day to keep my insulin levels stable, but it's hard for me to just eek down 3 squares. I was hoping that the slightly annoying nausea I had just a week ago would be it. Nope. It's getting worse each day. I think I'll put a call into my OB to beg see if she can give me something medicinal. I've tried the non-medicinal route and it's not cutting it. I have to function better than this. I won't go into any of the gory details, just believe me when I say it ain't pretty.

I think the stress of getting ready to move has compounded the ickiness some as well. We've made a huge dent in moving stuff to the new house though. A loaner truck, hubby, a few of the kids and I...we make a good team. (sometimes)

I know that I'm a fluffy girl and all, but I am really surprised at how my belly runneth over. I feel like a stuffed sausage in pants. I've been eyeing my maternity jeans, but they are ridiculously huge. Instead, I've just been wearing my most forgiving clothes or sucking it in. Funny, I've lost almost 3 pounds in this last week, but I sure don't feel like it!

I'll probably not be around much this week...busy times here. Busy times. I will try to update after my ultrasound on Tuesday though!

Until next time!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Lost in a Sea of Cardboard

My living room is filled with cardboard boxes. The garage is bursting at the seams with more boxes. And here I was worried that I wouldn't have enough...I don't know, I still might not have enough, but it sure looks like I do!

I've been taking 'loads' (read: whatever I can fit in the trunk of my van) to the new house when I can. It's not really making a dent in anything, but at least it makes me feel like I'm getting somewhere. When I happen to get a wave of energy minus the nausea, I start filling boxes as fast as I can. This will definitely not be the most organized move in the history of moves, but at least it's getting done. Hubby seems to be of the mindset that we'll do a move-ala-procrastination however...but, that is par for the course for him. He works better under pressure I suppose. Maybe I'll sneak him a few extra doses of his Ritalin in his corn flakes or something. (totally kidding...sort of)

I started monitoring my blood sugars today. Ouch! Those lancets HURT! I suppose I'll get used to it sooner than later, but man, my fingers are sore. I'm supposed to be able to take a sample from my forearm or palm, but I didn't have much luck with that. It was like squeezing blood from a turnip. So, finger pokes it is. Thankfully, ALL of my 'numbers' have been in the acceptable range so far.

It's hard to believe that we've got almost 4 weeks of school under our belts already. Makes me worry that this school year is going to fly by and summer vacation will be here again in the blink of my tired eyes. Most of my days are filled with busyness (is that a word?) with home schooling Gracie, work, MOPS and hanging out with my girlfriends, so chances are the time will fly. I am excited to meet this baby, but I also want to enjoy my pregnancy. I LOVE being pregnant. Not the very early months so much, but I love the middle months. I feel pretty good between months 4 and 8...then the I'm-as-big-as-a-whale-and-I-can't-see-my-feet-or-fit-into-anything-I-own sets in and I get antsy to deliver. Point being, I want the time to go at a normal, non rushed pace. Just so long as it's not a snails pace.

Well, Sam is in rare form tonight thanks to a late nap, so I'm going to sign off so I can wrangle him into some pj's for the night.

Later :)

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Flicker, Flicker, Flicker

Just a quick update...I had an impromptu ultrasound at work this morning. (I work for a doctor,remember?) Guess what? There's a baby! With a heartbeat flickering away! It was amazing to see the miracle of life--even so early in this pregnancy. The wonderful, sweet gal doing the ultrasound did kinda freak me out when she said she saw two sacs though. However, after more poking around, she's fairly confident that it's just one baby in there. I had a few hundred palpitations on the scan table, for sure.

As tired as I am, I walked on air all day long.

Same time next week, I'll get another scan. Cool perk of working where I do :)

Also some other news...since I had to go off of my Metformin (I'm a 'pre-diabetic') I have to start checking my blood sugars several times a day and really cracking down on my diet. The doctor wants me to eat nine times a day (what pregnant woman wouldn't enjoy that??) but concentrating on complex carbs (whole grain stuff) and lots of protein to keep my blood sugars close to normal and to hopefully avoid going on insulin.

That's it for the daily report. I have to hit the hay now. I've got a very busy rest of the week ahead.

Until next time!

Monday, September 1, 2008

Running on Empty

I am seriously dragging my feet today. I. Am. So. Tired. But, like always, I know that will get better with the passing of weeks into the second trimester. Only 6 more weeks to go until I can hold my eyelids open again.

We went and did a walk-through of the new house today and let the kids pick out which bedroom they'd like. Eli and Caleb will have their own rooms. Josh and Sam will share. Gracie will have her own room too, until the baby comes, then she'll share. Believe me, she was thrilled with that. (really!) It was so cute too, the previous tenants in the house had three children and they left books for my kids hidden all over the house. The kids had a hay day roaming from room to room finding literary treasures. How cool was that?

I had to have my Dad look at my van today. On Saturday, (at my bosses house for the bbq) we had to park on a hill so hubby engaged the parking brake. Well, on the way home from the bbq, we smelled that oh so pleasant smell of burning brakes. By the time we got home, we realized that the parking brake had been on the entire time. Ooops. My Dad said that the brake fluid literally boiled. Big ooops. Thankfully, it was an easy fix of draining the brake lines of the scorched fluid. And even more, my Dad kept Eli, Caleb and Josh with him for a few hours to give me a break. Thanks Dad!

Not much on the agenda today other than getting ready for the week ahead. Maybe pack a few boxes. (big maybe) I'd rather just crawl into bed and stay there til morning.

Signing off to deal with my queasiness.