Thursday, March 27, 2008

The 'Bad Mom Of The Year' Award Goes To...

Me! In all of my infinite wisdom, I thought it would be a great idea to schedule all 5 kids for their dental check-ups over Spring break. I reasoned that none of them would have to miss a second of school for it--good for them and great for me. Really though, the visit didn't go as bad as I had imagined it would. In the weeks prior to the appointment, I had visions of complete chaos and dental assistants running screaming from the room...thank GOD none of that happened. We had to sit in the waiting room for a good 40 minutes before actually getting started, but that was mostly because I had to fill out a stack of paperwork for each child. I'm sure I used up a dozen and a half trees just in doing that. While I scrawled redundant information on both the front and the back, the kids were happily entertained by the movie "Cheaper By The Dozen" playing on the huge flat-screen TV on the wall. Gracie did get mauled by another toddler, but she took it in stride and didn't fight back. (good girl!)

Anyway, the 'Bad Mother' Award goes to me because of the news we left the office with. We have more new cavities...not one or two, or even three or four, but THIRTEEN! And that number is just between TWO of the kids! Surprisingly, Eli (the one infamous for not brushing his teeth) had none, and Gracie and Sam both had none. Caleb and Josh didn't get out of there so easily....Caleb has 10 new cavities (albeit some were "very" small) and Josh has 3. So, lucky me, will be hauling them back next week for all of the work to be done. Josh has to have a 'mini-root canal' and a cap---I wish I had a Valium to take before that! Maybe the dentist will consent to giving me a little whiff of nitrous oxide too. I suppose brushing will have to be supervised a little tighter now, but like I said, the visit wasn't actually as nightmarish as I had imagined. Whew.

And, because I am SO BRILLIANT, I decided that the kids could wait a little while longer to eat lunch after their appointment, so I stopped off at cheap-o-cuts to get Eli's hair cut. (yes, I had to bribe the kid to get it done, but it worked, so whatevah!) We only had to wait about 10 minutes for Eli to be called, but in that time, Sam pooped his pants, Josh, Eli and Caleb spread haircut style books all over the floor and were fighting over them, Gracie escaped with Sam out the front door and they were running amok on the sidewalk, and then after being caught and returned inside, Sam knocked over an entire display of hair products sending about 5o bottles of various sizes crashing to the floor. When some lady asked me if they were "all mine", I almost said no.

By the time we left cheap-o-cuts, after I had painstakingly replaced each and every bottle in it's proper place, I was shaking from hunger, and the kids were whining--it was already almost 1:30pm. We headed downtown to a place where we knew we could get a free meal. Hubby was expecting us, and the restaurant was nearly empty, because by this time it was 2:00. I was so thankful that there were only 2 other people dining at that time, because my children were not on their best behavior. At all. They were all making noises of some sort...Gracie was whistling (loudly), Josh was kicking the leg of the chair next to him, Caleb was making weird trumpet noises, Sam was just whining because I would not let him tear open Splenda packets and pour them all over the table, Eli was complaining that his tea was not 'sweet'--even after he dumped in 4 packets of Splenda and 2 of regular sugar....and then came the food. Silence for a moment. But, only a moment. I had to separate Caleb and Josh and then catch Sam who was crawling under an entire row of tables, and then running on the row of benches connected to those tables. Sam managed to gag on a massive piece of dough he had shoved into his mouth before taking off on his run, and I had to dig it out of his mouth and then catch a handful of puke. In the whole scheme of things, the experience in the restaurant wasn't that bad...especially when you compare it to the block walk back to the parking garage. I won't go into details, but I will say that there were some pretty unhappy downtown drivers yesterday.

Our potty training adventure is still going strong, but we're dealing with many accidents, mostly from being too busy (or perhaps lazy) on my end. It may be a month or 2 process, but in the end, Sam will be in his underoos and not his sisters pink panties :)

We're heading off to the recycling center with a trunk load of aluminum cans today. I am hoping we get enough cash to treat ourselves to an ice cream cone at a little drive thru joint up the street.

Hopping off now to make lunch for my hungry crowd of kids. Quesadillas anyone?

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