Friday, April 25, 2008

I am so tired today I can't even see straight. I did sleep last night however, pretty well in fact. I think I am just so emotionally spent that all of my energies are diverted elsewhere. Makes sense, right?

The parole hearing was yesterday. I was up and out of bed by 4:45am and on the road to my mom's house by 5:26am. The hearing itself went well. The stuff that surrounded the hearing--not so much. It was very tough to see the punk that killed my brother, even if it was just on a big screen TV. (video conference from the prison) But, as hard as it was seeing the punk, it was even harder seeing my Dad sitting next to the punk supporting him. I know, you must be wondering "what in the world"? ( believe me, so was I ) My Dad and my Aunt made the 6 hour trip to the prison where the punk is and pleaded for punk's release on parole. 7 years early. was too much for me to tears overflowed down my cheeks and I stifled my sobs. I love my Dad, but I just couldn't believe what he was doing. Am I the one in the wrong here? Should I have so much forgiveness for the punk that I want him out of prison so he can "have a better chance at life"? Heck no! I DON'T have that much forgiveness. I want him to stay in prison for at least his whole 10 year sentence. Happily, punk will reside in prison for at least another year. Next April, I'll be attending another hearing. But, at least for now, I don't have to worry. With all of that being said, after the hearing, I had a really great day. Mom, Rich and I went to breakfast, went and had a pedicure (mom and I...not Rich!) and spent the rest of the day together eating and shopping! What more could a girl ask for?

Things on the marriage front are still not stellar. They are pretty crappy in fact. Hubby and I were on the outs by 6:30 this morning and we never resolved a thing. I am really glad that he's off to work now.

Wow, it seems like all do is complain...sorry about that. Things are very stressful right now, I won't lie. Hubby and I can't seem to get along for anything. The kids are out of control. We are seriously broke. Yadda yadda yadda--I'll spare you the rest.

I am trying really hard to keep my outlook somewhat positive so I don't end up in an all too familiar depressive rut. I've got one foot in the hole though, so I am trying to avoid tripping myself up and diving into a full on depression.

Gotta run...Sam is spitting Bingo Balls all over the place and batting at them with a Lincoln Log.

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