Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Up The Ante, Boys

What a terrible day this started out to be, only for once, it wasn't me who started it! R went down to wake C and J up early as they had failed to do what they needed to do before bedtime. C screamed at R for waking him up before his alarm, and it all went downhill from there. Instantly, R turned into a big buffoon and anger permeated the house...once again. (I couldn't wait for 7:30 to come, so he would leave)

To top it all off, the kids engaged in World War 3000 (they've already had wars 3-2,999). J took it upon himself to shoot E with an air soft pistol because (of course) E made him angry by teasing him. Whoa! Did that tick E off, and bad! First, he ran upstairs to me to tell me what happened, and before I could tell him I was proud of him for not retaliating and killing J for what he did, he shot off like a bat outta hell down to J's room where he TORE into the poor kid. Apparently, E shoved over a big dry erase board easel (with the intent to hurt J, I'm sure) and it landed on J's little foot. So, tears poured out of J and anger seethed out of E...and now J is sporting a very bruised and swollen left foot.

The ride to school was pure hell. I could hardly get myself back into the car after signing G into class before the hot tears began to stream down my cheeks. I sobbed all the way home. When I opened the door to our home to come in, it didn't even feel right, if that makes any sense at all. I swear we must have demons living in the walls that are preying on my children day and night. Scary stuff, for sure. My heart just breaks that the children have such a disdain for each other. The anger they have and the violence that manifests is getting to be too much. Lord, HELP!

I hate days that start like this, because inevitably they end the same way. However, because I know this, I am determined to NOT let that happen today. I want, need and crave peace in our home and in our hearts. I really don't know how to prevent another episode like this mornings, as it seems no matter how positive I am, they don't care...and it shows.

Lord, I cry out to you to save our family....we are in a terrible place and it seems there is no relief in sight. Please, show your power in a very real way. Heal our torn and ripped hearts and bring restoration to our souls. Show your mighty hand in my marriage and bring forgiveness and release the binding of bitterness and resent in my heart. You are the almighty counselor and heavenly Father...please, rain down your peace and presence in our home and family. Help us to conquer this stronghold of anger and bring joy into our lives again. I thank you for my husband and my children. I thank you that you are faithful to me, even though I turn my back to you more often than not....

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