Sunday, November 4, 2007

My Sons, The Warriors

The boys are locked, loaded and ready for battle. All the time. It's never-ending with them. The only time they are not arguing is when they are not together. Even at meal time, all I hear is the constant bickering ,teasing and tattling about who is chewing with their mouth open, or who is clanging their spoon against the side of the bowl. The insults fly and tears are usually shed (by me--the tears not the insults).

I really didn't think that my children would grow to literally hate each other. I believe they do, since I hear it all the time. " I hate you, you jerk!" is spoken out several times per hour. The degrading innuendo between them is a constant.

I was hoping that the peace in my heart would mean peace in my home too. It hasn't. When I step back and take a look at what is going on around me in the midst of their battles, I have a battle going on inside of me as well. Part of me wants to scream and yell and carry on about how I can't stand their fighting, and the other part of me silently blames myself for their carrying on. I don't know how to make them see what is becoming of them as siblings or how to help them to love and respect each other. I, as well as them, are blinded by the boldness of the rage that battles on.

Lord, I plead with you to help bring peace to our home and to my children's hearts. You have given me peace within myself, and I beg you to bring that peace to my family. I specifically pray that you would soften E's hardened heart and break through the walls that he has built up around himself. The anger that is in him is so scary and heartbreaking. Please, restore him back to the sweet, loving and content child that I know he is under his wrap of rage. Help me to love him as he is, but also to direct him in the way that he should go. Please Lord, break the bonds of anger and hate that have formed between my children. Bring peace and restoration to our family...