Thursday, September 20, 2007

Blankity, Blank, Blank, Blank

Blank. That's how my heart/mind/body feels today. I don't know exactly where I expend all of my energy, but I am so wiped out. Okay, maybe I do know where I expend my energy. (I'm the mom of 5...6 if you count my husband, and that's enough to bring any woman to her knees) I can't figure out though, why I feel so emotionally, physically and spiritually drained. Shouldn't a good nights sleep take care of that? Nah, I suppose if that were the case, there wouldn't be so many frazzled moms out there, right?

I, however, don't want to BE a frazzled mom. I want to be a calm, cool and collected mom. The mom that everyone wants to be, but isn't. I want to be full of ideas and energy and I want to always have the right answer or solution to every problem that life throws our way. I want to be the cookie baking, bread kneading, book reading, ever patient mom, you know, the mom of every kids' dream? Since I can't ever live up to the picture that I have in my mind's eye about being a mom, I have to resign myself to just do the best that I can with what I've got, and hope that the Lord will cover the rest of the things that I fall so very short of.

I am listening to the lively chatter and some bickering of the kids upstairs...they've just returned home from school with tales to tell, and wow, do they all want to talk at the same time. Each day, on the ride home from school, I get a dizzying account of the adventures and mishaps that were had in their little worlds. They all speak at not only the same time, but at super warp speed as if trying to get in their allotted quota of words for the day. I just try and take it all in without having my head explode with information overload because that would be messy and probably a little bit disturbing too! Sometimes, I just tune it all out, but keep nodding my head to make them think I am still listening.

I'm going to sign off for now, apparently, the kids still have some words to be spoken today...