Yes, I realize that most of my posts lately have been mounds of complaints about my life...and seriously, I doubt that will change. I'd rather come here and air my complaints than take them out on my unsuspecting family and friends.
Something Josh did yesterday led me to have a dialog with myself...yes, I told you before I was losing it...anyway, I was sweeping my ever dirty floors and I kept hearing a tapping on the house. It went on for a while and I finally figured out that it was coming from the backyard. So, I decided to take a peek out the back door, and there I found Josh and Sam in the window well. The tapping sound was Josh using a piece of re-bar (NO clue where he got that) to chip away at the foundation of the house. I gasped, and shrieked at him to STOP doing that--he just looked at me and said something to the effect of leave him alone, it's just cement, no big deal. I had to explain to him that he was in fact chipping away at the foundation of our house--and the foundation is what essentially holds the house up. He disagreed with me (of course) on that and said that "No, it's the DIRT under the cement that holds the house up"!
This situation got me to thinking about what I have done to the foundation of my marriage and family by holding onto all of the bitterness and resent that I have in my heart toward my husband. He is after all, the foundation of our family, and I have been chipping away at him for nearly 3 years. Just another realization that was given to me to sink in and reinforce that I need to let go of all of the ugliness that harboring bitterness brings.
Changing subjects...
I woke up at the crack of dawn today to rush downstairs to the computer. I just HAD to see if our economic stimulus check had been deposited. I anxiously typed in our account information and then held my breath while it loaded. Thankfully, it was there. It was $500 less than I had been expecting, but hey, free money is free money! Wal-Mart was happy to see us coming this morning. Tomorrow, the kids will be bouncing on a brand new trampoline.
Better bouncing on that than bouncing off the walls :)
I've worked every day this week and am on the schedule at hospice this Sunday as well. Things are going pretty well though--Josh's scalp is healing well and we've had no new ER visits. Can't beat that!
Gotta go...I'm tired!
Friday, May 16, 2008
A Cracked House
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