On The Edge

No, not on the edge of a cliff or anything that dramatic...just on edge. I swear, if I have to hear "Mooommmmmmm" followed by ear drum rupturing shrieking or doors slamming one more time.

I know that I wasn't delusional about parenthood when I first began having babies. I mean, I knew we weren't going to be all Beaver Cleaver like, but, oh heck, who am I kidding? Maybe I was a little bit delusional. I think that all new moms are a bit on the um, I-have-no-clue-what-I-am-getting-myself-into side. So, what in the world is going on now that I have 5 kids and can't call myself a 'new' mom? I should have it all together, right? I actually have been called a 'seasoned' mom before by a friend that has only teeny tiny little ones. I surely don't feel like a seasoned mom. I feel a little bit baffled and at times downright insane, in fact, by all that is happening in my life with all of these kids! Just last night, in the van, as I was pulling into the garage I was asked a question that I really did not know how to answer. Yes, I *do* know the answer, but how do you phrase it to the child that asked the very poignant question so as not to scar him for life? Truth is, I skirted the question as much as I possibly could and just announced "Who wants a snack"? Seriously, I feared I would not get out of that one so gracefully! Thankfully, said child was satisfied with my non-answer and wanted a snack.

The sun is setting behind the mountains right now, and I am already looking forward to bedtime. Sad, that it's so hard to enjoy my children some days... It's also sad that they can't seem to enjoy each other either. Is it too much to ask for my kids to play together without launching into an all out war? The three oldest boys in particular, can't for the life of anyone play anything without it turning into tears and bloodshed. You'd think I was asking for the world when I suggest to them to just sit down to play a game together, instead of throwing hard objects at each other with a force so powerful someone is bound to get hurt. Instead, I have to have them go to separate quarters ( different floors of the house ) just to get any peace.

Such is life in a house full of boys, no?