Bad Idea #63,484

Maybe it was a wild and crazy idea, but I went ahead and did it. I loaded up the kids into the van, drove to the hair salon, got two of the boys haircuts...okay, so that doesn't sound so crazy, right? No, the crazy part was me loading up the kids into the van, getting haircuts and then going to the grocery store. Normally, I do whatever it takes to not take the kids to the store. At all. Ever. However, I was feeling particularly brave, and I decided to take my chances to run in and grab a rotisserie chicken, (because I was too tired to actually cook) a few gallons of milk and perhaps some fruit. Grabbing the chicken was pretty easy, as it was right there at the entrance to the store....except, as soon as I pulled the cart up next to the deli to select the chicken, Sam bolted from me and before I knew it, he was spooning (or better said--catapulting) marinated green olives onto the floor. I quickly scooped him up to remove him from the slippery mess when he let loose with a screech so loud that I (and everyone else in the near vicinity) nearly ruptured an eardrum.

With a howling Sam slung under one arm and pushing the cart with the other, I corralled the rest of the kids and hastily made my way towards the produce section to grab a bunch of bananas and a bag of apples. Another bad idea. Josh, being the very active, but not quite attentive kid that he is, ran (and I do mean ran) smack into a floral display sending some lovely blooms and containers of water onto the floor. At this point, I was horrified and told the kids to "Get in line RIGHT now". Forget the fruit, forget the milk. I just wanted to usher them out of the store as fast as I could.

Well, since I always have the best of luck, the customer ahead of us in line had some problems with her credit card, so we were stuck behind her (with a line of people behind us)for quite a while--like a whole 3 minutes, but it seemed like 30....Sam was still screaming, Gracie was doing the "I gotta go potty" dance, and the rest of them were begging for candy and gum and not wanting to take "no" for an answer...My goodness, I will move heaven and earth before I step foot into the store with all of them again. Besides, I think we've now officially been banned from Safeway. So, next time I'm in need of groceries, I think I'll put on a hat (maybe even a paper bag over my head) and drive to the next town over to do my shopping. Alone.