Monday Madness and Mayhem

I love Mondays. Most of them anyway. It's the day when my work week is over, and the school week begins! We have the usual chaos and such, as would anyone trying to get 75 people (okay, it's just 7, I exaggerated a bit) out the door by 7:30am. I still don't understand the process that goes on in the kids minds when I tell them they only have 30 minutes to get dressed, eat breakfast, brush their teeth, comb their hair and gather their backpacks and lunches. Clearly, they hear in a different language than I am actually speaking because they walk around in circles not doing much of anything, especially not what I told them to do. I think in their language what I say about getting ready means 'to turn on the t.v., sit and stare at your bowl of oatmeal while picking your nose. Oh, and do it in your socks with your shirt on backwards and inside out. And one more thing, be sure not to comb your hair and put on your shoes, you won't be able to find them anyway since they are sitting by the front door in plain sight'. Maybe I should get their ears (and eyes) checked. Soon.

We went to a birthday party at the infamous Chuck E Cheese yesterday. I have a love/hate relationship with that place. I love it because we're almost always there for a birthday party for some child other than our own, so we don't have to pay for anything. I also love it that when you come in the front door, you are welcomed by a very loud and boisterous teenage girl who stamps a number in invisible ink on the left arm of each child and parent. We all had the number 63. What's great about this is that NO ONE other than the parent with the matching number can take your kid out of the restaurant. R and I had a great time knowing that we didn't have to constantly keep track of the kids, because they were not in danger of being pilfered through the front door by some desperate loon. The only thing I really hate about the place is that when it's time to go home, all the kids have a melt-down because they are not ready to leave. Ah well, such is life when all the kids are sugared up and hyped on fun.

I am starting as a volunteer at the school today. Somehow, my name and number were written in on the sign up sheet for lunch and recess monitor. Twice! I must have been in my weekly haze when that happened, because I'm not sure why I would've done that. No not really, I am looking forward to hanging out at school and making sure my kids eat their lunch and don't get bullied on the playground. (oh, and I suppose making sure that doesn't happen with all the other kids too!)

Signing off to catch up on laundry and to clean up the Legos in the living room before someone impales their foot with a tiny, plastic weapon.

Peace and Quiet?

I am enjoying the sound of nothing other than my fingers flying across the keyboard...I am alone! Granted, I am alone and full of guilt as to why I am alone. My family is at church, and I am not. Guilty. Of course, this gives me another opportunity to complain about working nights and about how tired I am! (imagine that!) I am home because I need a nap. I need a nap just so I can get through the rest of my day. (so, why am I on the computer instead of sleeping?) We've got plenty on the agenda later today and I really would like to enjoy being around people (namely my family) and not feel like biting their heads off because I am so tired. God will forgive me, right? (promising that I will listen to the sermon online this week...after a good nap)

R is finally feeling much better after his bout with prostatitis. He was SO sick, but somehow I managed to laugh at him and congratulate him on his first 'old man's disease'. ( I don't think R even knew he had a prostate) I think he may have thought that my comment was funny at any other time, but when you're burning up with fever, can't pee to save your life, and ache all over, I suppose that's just not the time for humor?

Well, I am going to sign off and take that nap, after I clean up the cereal off the table, the honey off the floor and the milk off the ceiling. (don't ask) Maybe I'll be back later today to shove off more,(and maybe I'll have an interesting story to tell by them) but for now, I just need to sleep while I have that peace and quiet.

Need Shut-Eye. Now.

Since I am the only mom on the planet that has to work night shifts, I am exercising my right to complain about how tired I am. Yes, I know that I am not really the only mom on the planet that has to work nights, but I am the only mom on the planet that has to work nights and has kids like mine. I guess that sounds more fair, huh? (although totally inaccurate as well I concur). I've always half-joked (kind of) that if my third born had been my first, that we would not have had the 4 others... That being said, J is SUCH a terrific kid full of that terrific kid energy. I would have to consume 77 Pikes Peak sized Diet Cokes and a bottle of speed before I had 1/2 the energy that this kid has! Think Tasmanian devil gone wild, and you get a glimpse of my terrific kid. When he's not swinging from the ceiling fan or scaling any tree he can find, J can be found dancing on the kitchen table or hiding in the clothes dryer. (hiding because he knows about something destructive that he has done and I have yet to find out about) Someday, I will look back on it all and be able to laugh so hard that I will lose control of my bladder. Someday.



I had all of my little cherubs at the doctors office the other day because one of them had an appointment. Knowing that the doctor has yet to have any children, I am not sure he will ever have any after the spectacle that mine put on in his office. I think if he had any desire at all, my kids probably cured him of that! I did piece back together the waiting room the best I could, so hopefully we'll be allowed back in for the follow-up appointment next week. I may dress the kids in drag and wear a wig myself, so maybe the doctor and staff won't remember us!



I am trying to think of things to keep the kids busy today, so that maybe they won't notice when I nod off. They seem to be content for the moment watching 'Astronaut Farmer' and telling each other to shut up. I think maybe I'll record some of my 'Mom Sayings' on R's voice recorder, so that when they are talking to me and asking for stuff, I can just press a button and have the appropriate response at the ready and I won't have to actually talk.

Yeah, as if.

So, I made the mistake of taking the kids out into public again this afternoon. That was a bad idea that only got worse. And the scary part is, we didn't even get out of the car! All of the mayhem took place in the confines of the Montero. Let's just say it wasn't pretty, and a certain somebody ended up getting a root beer float thrown in his face by a certain angry mom. In that certain moms defense, the kid deserved it. Badly. So much for wanting to be 'nice mom' and do something fun with them. I hate that attitude always ends up getting thrown around and then everyone gets so angry that it's a scream-fest. At least the kid who got 'offended' upon can see the bright side in the fact that he can spike his hair up with the stickiness and it stays even better than when he uses hairspray, and he likes that his shirt now tastes like root beer :)

Onto a different subject...R has finally actually spoken to the counselor I made mention of in a previous post. He has an appointment this Thursday! Yahoo! Weird thing is though, this is the very same counselor my Mom had when she and my Dad were going through their rough waters and ultimate divorce. Small world, huh?

I'm going to sign off for now...I've got to clean root beer and ice cream off the windows and seats before I make the trek to work again.

Holding my breath

He did it. He actually did it! All on his own accord, (minus the ultimatum from me) R called a friend, got a phone number for a counselor, and actually called the counselor. Granted he had to leave a message, but to me, him doing this is a giant leap toward what I hope to be healing waters. He has been so adamantly against going to a counselor, mostly because he has some major misconceptions as to what it's all about. He has this notion in his mind that the counselor is going to make him aware of some horribly awful stuff that he 'might' have lurking deep down within him. Stuff that he is very afraid of 'finding out'. He's not even sure what that 'stuff' might be, or even if there is 'stuff'! So, I am thanking my lucky stars (and my heavenly Father) that he has made this first step.



Wading away from such heavy stuff now... S is looking so punky today. The impetigo has taken over a huge portion of his little nose. He's taken quite the stance against willingly accepting his antibiotic and he protests loudly and wildly when I have to put the topical cream on and in his nose. You'd think that I was torturing the poor kid to hear him put up such a fuss. I have to put on my heavy-duty mom hat to hold down all of the writhing limbs and such! I'm always ready to wipe his tears away and cover him with kisses when I'm done...



R has decided that he's going to look for another job. NOT in car sales. He's realized that he's not cut out for sales and he was surprised at how utterly slow business was in the first place! Some days would go by with nary a customer on the lot, so between the several dealers there at any one time, it would seem vultures worked there.

Here we go again with the nerve twisting, faith stretching uncertainty of our livelihood...

Margaritaville

Sounds like the place to be...in Margaritaville that is! R took us all out to the Olive Garden last night for dinner and I had not only wine, but a strawberry-mango margarita as well. Yup, it was a splurge, and it was only done because R had been given a large gift certificate that was supposed to be used to take his family out to dinner. I really enjoyed that margarita and let's just say that it made for a more pleasant dining experience with the kids. (if anyone has ever dined out with 5 children, you know what I mean)

I had to take S into the pediatrician today. What started out as an innocent looking blister on the inside of his nose on Friday, has turned into something bigger...as usual! The poor little guy has a staph infection (impetigo) and the blistering has spread and burst, leaving most of his little button nose(between his nostrils) covered in a honey-colored crust that keeps peeling and bleeding. So, a course of oral and topical antibiotics was prescribed and a popsicle was given. The sweet little bub looks like he took a nose dive on the pavement!


I'll be taking C into the eye doctor today as well. He has been feeling an overwhelming urge to very heavily blink his left eye over the past couple of months. He's also mentioned that he feels some sort of pressure in his eye. I am thinking that it is just part of his tic disorder, but C himself asked me to take him to the doctor, so I know that it is truly bothering him.

Nothing much else to say today...I am still trying to recover my brain function from all of the wild activity this weekend (ie; working 25 overnight hours in 2 days, NOT the margarita!) so I think I'll sign off now and finish up some other mindless tasks that are awaiting my attention.

Until next time...

Blog in a fog

Okay, so that was such a dumb title for this, but it's once again Saturday and I am once again in that sleepless fog. I keep having to tell myself, "One more night, just one more night". That seems to get me through knowing that after tonight, I'll be off until Friday :)

It's been a pretty quiet day. The kids are busy playing with friends and the baby is dancing around to the silly songs on the latest Veggie Tales movie, so I have been afforded the time to sit and write, which is always a catharsis to me. R left for work at 8am as usual. He was actually waiting for me in the driveway this morning so he could hop in the car and go. Talk about two ships passing in the night, er, morning! E came to work with me last night and kept his eyes pryed open until the wee hours of the morning watching High School Musical 2 on Disney. He would have stayed up longer if I hadn't put my foot down and made him get some shut eye. It's nice to have him with me, even if sometimes it's only to keep the peace at home. He is a huge instigator of arguments between the kids and R, so I take him with me quite often.

I really feel guilty about wishing away the weekends. I want to enjoy being at home with the kids and not want Monday to come so soon, but darn it, the weekends just leave me weary and withered. I feel like such a lump of flubber. Speaking of flubber, I am (once again!) going to get with the program and lose some of this weight. I have given myself a personal goal to be at my ideal weight (which is still largely undetermined) by my 34th birthday in June. I spent my 20's overweight because of pregnancy after pregnancy...I really don't want to spend my 30's fluffy as well! I am aiming to have 25-30 pounds gone by the end of January 2008, and to be at my final goal (probably another 20-25 pounds) by the 24th of June 2008. If I weren't such a stress-eater, I'd actually have confidence in myself that I could meet these goals. When I am under stress (which is pretty much always!) I eat mindlessly and without regard. Bad carbs and comfort foods become my friend and my 'support'... even though I always end up feeling worse than I did before when I eat like that. I always start out the day with the best of intentions to eat healthfully and normally, but usually by the time breakfast rolls around, I've experienced so much stress that it all goes to the wayside.

I hate feeling fat. Fluffy. Overweight. Large. Wide. Whatever the term, you get the picture. I really hate the way I can feel the fat on my face and under my chin(s). I despise the rolls of fat on my belly and back, my dimply thighs and thick ankles, and the way my arms keep flapping long after I've waved goodbye. I especially hate having a 'muffin top' because my pants are so tight the fat squishes out the top. I think I had a reality check last weekend at work when a patient said to me "Now, don't take this the wrong way, but I am really surprised that you are so heavy since you have 5 children to run around after". Wow, if that wasn't a kick in the gut, I don't know what is.

Signing off for now... I have to wipe the crumbs from my Wendy's hamburger and fries off the keyboard.

'I don't got a belly button'

As I sit in the basement contemplating what I should shove off on this blog tonight, I hear the giggles of 2 of my boys singing a very enchanted song with lyrics including "I don't got a belly button" and then it's just a bunch of gibberish mixed in with the laughter...and a few ah ha's thrown in there as well. As amusing as it is to me, R just sits there with an angry face and an even more angry tone to his tired voice. I'm not quite clear what his issue is tonight, as I thought we actually had a pretty good day together. His attitude is really disheartening to say the least. It snuffs out the tiniest bit of hope that I may have felt today. Such is the story of my life these days.

It's funny (or not so much) how contagious anger is and how fast it spreads. It spreads faster than it can be stopped, that's for sure. I thought I was in a pretty good mood tonight as I had dinner with a friend and was able to vent to her and not feel judged...but then I had to come home to the house under siege by R. I guess it's fair to say that it's under siege by an 11 year old boy who seems to control the emotions of his 38 year old father as well.

I think instead of trying to break down the thick walls between R and I, we actually add on a layer of brick and mortar most days. Sometimes even 2 or 3 layers get put on...those are the days when even the house itself seems to sigh with relief when night falls and everyone sleeps. Those are also the days when I feel defeated the most. Defeat doesn't come in a nice and pretty package, it comes with gut-wrenching guilt that another day has gone by without any resolution to our seemingly impossible situation.

Why is it when I most want and need the answers and guidance from my heavenly Father, He seems so unreachable? Almost like the whole God/relationship/salvation thing is something that everyone else can attain, but for me, it's held just out of my reach...and every time I try harder to press into Him, He runs from me. Now I know that isn't the way it is, but like I've said before, I am just trying to make sense of all this gobbledygook and find my way around the murky waters of this thing called marriage and life. Oh, and parenthood too. Let's hope I can find the way before I run out of air...