Day 1

I've been up since 3am. That's if you can count the 'sleep' I had between 10:30pm and 3am as actual sleep. It was one of those nights where my eyes were closed, but my mind was churning. And then there was the burning pain in my arms and hands from carpal tunnel and the 4 trips to the bathroom. On my 4th trip to the bathroom, as soon as I stood up from the bed, I started to feel a lot of pressure. You know, down there. Not a pressure so bad that I feared the baby falling out, but enough pressure to make me wonder...

I've spent the majority of the day having sporadic contractions, still feeling that pressure. But, since I've birthed five babies already and kinda know what labor feels like, I doubt this is it. I think it's just my body gearing up for labor in the near future. Or you know, the not so near future. I'm pretty sure the baby has 'engaged' and is ready for launch. And I'm also pretty sure that this pregnancy could go on f.o.r.e.v.e.r.

With all of that said, since I did title this post as 'Day 1', I should perhaps mention how the first day of Spring Break went. Actually, it wasn't too bad. We had a big breakfast of blueberry pancakes, bacon and hash browns--and it wasn't even made by me! Hubby and Caleb did the cooking. I did the clean up afterward. I suppose no one has learned from all of the times I've said over the years "If you cook, YOU clean up". Maybe because that's because it's very rare for someone else to do the cooking?

I am really feeling the need/urge/want to get everything ready for the baby to come. The baby swing was dug out of the garage and cleaned up. The drawers filled with freshly washed clothes and blankets, diapers and wipes. I'm nesting for sure. I have SO much I want to do, but I think my plans are bigger than my energy. I'm moving pretty slowly on my puffy feet.

All in all though, it was a pretty darn good day. We even got ice cream...and what pregnant woman doesn't like that?

Here's to tomorrow...and to some sleep tonight.

(Not So) Patiently Going Insane

I freely admit, I am the crankiest pregnant woman on the face of the earth. Ever. In all of history. Really.

I think this has been the most emotional pregnancy for me as of yet. (or ever again.)
I've spent way too much time being mad, irritable, impatient and teary. I'm sure the rest of the family wishes I'd just be nice.

I am ready to have this baby and do baby things. I am ready to feel my fingers again and not have shooting pain in my arms. I'm ready to not get up 45 times during the night to pee. I'm ready to not have heartburn. And I'm REALLY ready to not be cranky--although, I wonder if *that* may be a permanent condition. I'm even ready to change a million diapers a day, ready to be a human pacifier and ready to be awake through the night rocking my baby.

And honestly? I am ready for my husband to have a vasectomy. Yup. I said it. There you go--in writing!

Now, to just get through Spring Break.

I think I can, I think I can...

2 Days and Counting...

Spring break is almost upon us...Spring break? I find the kids being home 24/7 for two whole weeks not much of a break. Who needs it?

Ah, yes, I know the teachers need it. Desperately I'm sure. Just as desperately as much as I need school. I suppose it's a trade off. Thank the Lord for the blessed souls who teach!

I don't have much planned for our two weeks of break. I can just imagine how much fun it will be. Really.

I'm hoping the weather holds out and we can frequent the park and the neighborhood pool. As much as I hold dear to my heart shuttling my angels to school each morning, I am looking forward to not having to rise before the crack of dawn just to hustle around trying to keep everyone on the task of getting ready to leave. No lunches to pack. No homework. But, on the other hand, no early-ish bedtime and no 7 and a half hour break. Lord help me...(and them!)

And because I am so genius, I scheduled dental appointments for all the kids at the same time, you know, so they wouldn't miss any school. I must have failed to remember that I am nearly ready to birth a baby...

I want my Mommy!

Say What?

As I was trying (with begging, pleading, cajoling and bribing) to get my overly hyper son down for bed last night, he made me crack up and almost pee my very pregnant pants. He was sitting up on my bed drumming away with a nylon spoon on a diaper wipes box singing the rock version of 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star'. I told him I was tired, so he must be tired and it was time to settle down. He stopped drumming, looked at me sideways and said "I'm a love handle, and love handles DON'T get tired". He then picked up where he left off with his drumming and singing. I questioned him through giggles about his being a 'love handle'--he just looked at me and shrugged his shoulders, continuing on.

Finally, in what seemed like hours, he nodded off. Snoring and all.

I am very thankful for the gift of sleep--without it, I'd go crazy :)

The Pressure Is On...

Oh the joys and misery of late pregnancy.

I'm no longer sashaying in my walk, but instead, walking has turned into an actual chore--I am waddling. It's been noticed of late that the 'baby has dropped'. Yup, she sure has. I feel like I am trying to hold a watermelon between my thighs. Even the ultrasound tech at my last appointment made mention of how low the baby was. Yeah, duh...

Today, as I was waddling through the automotive section at Wal-Mart while waiting for two new tires to be mounted to my van, I felt some major pressure. So much pressure that it made me reeeeeeeeealy nervous. I've had two precipitous (very rapid labors--as in 18 and 20 minutes, respectively) I so did not want to be known as the 'lady that gave birth in the automotive section', so I waddled my way to the towel aisle, you know, just in case. Hubby comforted me with the fact that the towel aisle was very close to the pharmacy--and we all know that pharmacies are loaded with drugs.

Thankfully, I think the baby was just doing some Kung-Fu moves and shifted her weight, as the pressure subsided and I was able to waddle my way back to pick up the van to head home.

I am 33 weeks along now and baby is weighing in at 4lbs 7oz as of this past Tuesday. She packed on 11 ounces from the week prior. Whoa. I won't even mention what I am weighing in at, but I have packed on 14 pounds thus far...

I am trying to take comfort in the fact that my OB will take pity on me and induce my labor sometime right after I hit 37 weeks or so. (okay, so it's not really because of pity, it's because of my blood pressure)

Until then, I am hanging on...and waddling around.

The Neverending Weekend

When the days are good, they're good...but when they're bad, they're BAD! The past 48 hours have felt like an eternity. Many tears were shed, many words were yelled and many things were thrown. (only the tears were mine, the rest was Eli)

Bipolar disorder truly sucks. I had so much hope when I began to see stabilization in my son when he started his medication. Now, my hope is fleeting as the bad days are running together with hardly a good day in between. Just like before.

I worry about what the stress of it all is doing to the other kids...and I'm sure *my* stress is no picnic for my precious unborn baby girl. Being racked by tears can't be healthy. The frustration is so hard to bear, of course I cry. To be perfectly honest, hearing my child scream in a guttural tone while telling me to go to hell, die, and to f-off is really hard to take. Especially when it's so frequent.

Maybe I was only seeing what I wanted to see in terms of him 'doing better' on the meds. Maybe.

Anyway, just venting...

I've got a busy week ahead so I'm signing off and hitting the sack!

Mish Mash

If you can believe it, yes, I am actually blogging again... I've been out of the blogsphere long enough--between mothering,gestating, and you know, breathing, I've been busy!

I'm 32 million weeks pregnant now and really ready to be done. Nobody warned me that pregnancy at the ripe old age of 34 would be so hard. At this point, I am swollen beyond belief, my blood pressure has been skyrocketing, my arms and hands are painfully numb (yes, pain and numbness can go together) from pregnancy induced carpal tunnel, and I am not very pleasant to be around. If you don't believe me, ask the kids. They'll tell you that mama ain't happy!

I won't bore you with the details of the last couple of months, I'll just move on from here...and do my best to keep blogging!

Tonight though,I'm going to be short winded--time to pop an ambien and hit the pillow.

Here's a pic of my belly full of baby...don't let the roadmap of stretchmarks scare you!