Stick Me With A Fork, I'm DONE!

So, yesterday was our annual cookie baking day. We made chocolate dipped pretzel rods, Ritz crackers spread with peanut butter and sandwiched together-then dipped in chocolate (one can't have too much chocolate in my book) and pumpkin cookies with caramel frosting. All of this mess-making, dough tasting, finger-licking (yes the kids were there) was done so we could have a variety of goodies to take to a cookie exchange. Now, we have a million and one cookies and sweet things sitting on the counter...and I have no desire to eat them! (that's a first!)

The day was actually pretty embarrassing for me....my Mom came over to bake with me and the kids. The kids were, well, kids. And if you've ever seen my kids in action, it's not always pretty. After finishing up the baking and spraying down the kitchen to remove the flour, melted chocolate and sprinkles from every crevice, I made the suggestion that we go out to eat. (um, okay, WHAT was I thinking?) I was too tired to make lunch and mess up the kitchen again. So, we drove off to a near by Wendy's. Before we got out of the car to go in, I gave my normal warning to the kids about not throwing food and not humiliating us in public. (it never works, but I still do it..I guess just to make myself feel better) All seven of us sat at three different tables. Everyone wanted to sit by Nana, so I had to make the decision to let Gracie sit with her, because I know that she can scream the loudest when she gets offended...and I knew we'd all hear from her that "Only boys sit with boys, and girls sit with girls". Once we got our food and 'got settled', things weren't too bad. Except for the fact that Gracie spilled three-quarters of her chocolate milk all over the table,and she ripped off the plug on the bottom of the salt shaker and dumped mountains of salt all over. And of course, she only licked her hamburger and then proceeded to tell Nana she was 'full', so could she have her frosty now?

After we finished lunch and ushered everyone back into the van, we headed over to the cookie exchange. As soon as we arrived there, the kids (all of them) shot upstairs and they were actually pretty good...except for the occasional toy being launched over the railing and into the living room. Mom and I had a nice time eating, talking and going around and around the cookie table until all the cookies were gone. When it was time to go, I went up to the toy room to survey the damage...it was pretty bad. I cleaned up the best as I could, muttered my sincerest apologies to the hostess,and loaded everyone back up in the van for the trudge home. Sam refused to put his coat on yelling "Me NO wanna coat on"! even though it was only 19* outside. So, he cried all the way home about how cold he was.

I sure hope my Mom is still speaking to me after all of this! (love you Mom :)

Remembering My Angel

My beloved brother Paul, would have been 36 years old today. It's been nearly 4 years since he was killed in a tragic and senseless accident...his life cut short by the actions of a drunken teenager driving a pick-up truck.

My eyes still well with tears, and the back of my throat still burns from holding back sobs of grief....oh, how I miss him!

My Mom, Step-Dad, Eli, Caleb and I celebrated Paul's life last night at a little place called Shangri-La. It's where Mom had taken him on his 32nd birthday, just weeks before he died. He LOVED Chinese food, and Mom told of the grin that he had on his face while eating there. It's become tradition to go there for his birthday. We set out our favorite photo of him and talk about what we remember about him. We don't cry and grieve while we are there...we are just happy to celebrate who Paul was and what he meant to all of us.

I still remember an argument that Paul and I used to have when we were kids. I always thought that I would someday be older than him...that somehow I would catch up to him. He would just laugh and say that I would never pass him up in age...that he would always be older. When I turned 32, it was hard for me...33 even harder. His smile stopped shining at 32.

I have faith in the belief that I will one day see Paul again, sitting at the Father's feet, when I enter the gates of heaven.

Happy birthday to you, my precious brother....I miss you and love you always.

A Free Day

Yup, the kids got a free day today. Although I still can't figure out why school was actually cancelled...we didn't get that much snow. I suppose the powers that be had a good reason for it.

We made it through the day without too many negative incidents. Josh did get whacked in the face pretty darn hard with a snowball though. Too bad the "snowball" was mostly ICE! The poor kid cried his little heart out and he now has a lump directly under his right eye. I had to tell him that was the price he payed for having a snowball fight with some neighborhood kids much older than him. (he's 7, they were 12 and 16... I wanted to give them a piece of my mind and ask what in the world were they thinking throwing rock hard snowballs at such a little guy!!!) But, he learned a lesson and stayed in the house the rest of the day. He learned that maybe it's better to play with kids closer to his own size.

I am working tomorrow from 7:30-4:00, so I've been busy getting things lined up for the morning madness. Luckily, it'll be Roy drowning in the madness and not me, as I have to leave by 6:45am. I was nice though, and packed lunches, put out outfits for each kid and got tomorrow nights taco soup ready to go into the crock pot. Sheesh, I must be related to superwoman somehow :)

I think I'll make it short and sweet tonight. I already popped my sleeping pills so I can (hopefully) guarantee myself a somewhat restful nights sleep. Although, come to think of it, the pills didn't work so good for me last night....

Anyway, here's to hoping!

The Calm Before The Storm

At least that's what the weather man is saying anyway... When I hear that a storm is brewing and could dump inches of the white stuff, I get excited and panicked all at the same time. Excited because like I said, I love to watch falling snow, and panicked because that snow could mean school is cancelled for the day and I'd be stuck at home with 5 kids wound up from the excitement of no school. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my kids and I LOVE being a Mom, but seriously, jetting the kids off to school each morning and getting that breather, makes me a better Mom. < I don't know how I (or they) survived our three years of home schooling! >


On a different note, I gave the nursing agency my 32 hours of availability for this week and I just knew that I would be called to work not only today, but all week. So, in anticipation, (and also to help R out so he wouldn't be a basket-case) I packed all the kids lunches for school, set aside outfits and lined up backpacks...so he he would just have to feed them and make sure no one had bed-head. I laid in bed this morning watching the clock turn from 5am (when I usually get a call to work) to 6:17, when I finally gave up and got out of bed. No call. No work. No pay. Today anyway.
I still wonder what the Lord is doing....? I do know that I have a shift on Wednesday for sure, but I was hoping that I would be needed for the entire 32 hours this week. On one hand I am upset about not getting a shift (you know, no shift, no pay) but on the other hand, I am secretly glad that I get to stay home.

I suppose I should stop the worrying...it seems God always provides. But, when I know that the mortgage is due, the car payment is due, and the credit cards (which are nearly maxed out) are due as well, the worry comes naturally. I am confident though, in the fact that our troubles are only for a season, and we will come out mostly unscathed in the end. This confidence is not from myself, it's from God...as all good things are.

Blessed is the man who believes in, trusts in, and relies on the Lord, and whose hope and confidence the Lord is. Jeremiah 17:7

Bring On Christmas

It really hasn't felt like Christmas is just around the corner, until today. It's snowing...finally! The above average temperatures that we've had made if feel like early Fall, not like December. I love to watch the delicate and dainty flakes dance in the air until they fall gently and silently to the ground.
Of course, with the chilly temperatures, the kids don't want to trudge outside to play, so the chaos is aplenty! Can't say as I blame them though...it is blustery outside. I also don't mind not having to hang up 10 little mittens to drip dry,cleaning 5 pairs of boots covered in muddy snow, and finding a place for 5 jackets drenched with the remains of a snowball fight.

Snow puts me in the mood to decorate...the boys pulled out the boxes full of garland and lights, and now the house looks like Christmas blew up in the living room. We now have stockings, ornaments, strands of icicle lights, and wrapping paper strewn all over the place. Somehow, that's not the kind of decorating I had in mind. Ah, Christmas... I can't wait until it's time to bake. I think though, I'll do that while the kids are in school :)

I want the kids to be excited about the Christmas season. I love to see the look of wonder and awe on their faces when we light up the decorated Christmas tree for the first time. I love hearing the anticipation in their voices about visiting Santa Claus. But, most of all, I love being able to remind them about the true meaning of Christmas and receiving the best gift of all!

Save Me From My Shovel

As much as I hate to admit it, I have lost some a lot of my joy. Maybe it's because my expectations of that joy were just too much. Maybe I was delirious in my new found love for God and my renewed love for my husband. Maybe...I don't know. I do know, however, that my heart feels heavy and tender again. It feels bogged down with the weight of my constant worries and stress.


Why is it that I would pick up those worries and burdens again? I thought that I had given them away to my God...I thought that I was free from them. Yet, here they are again. Plaguing my thoughts and whittling away at my joy. I'm tired. Worn out. Weary. Yet, I have to carry on, and carry on I will.

I heard a message this past Sunday on brokenness. It was said that we should stop trying to pull ourselves out of our brokenness and let God redeem and restore us where we are at. That made such sense to me....I expend so much energy on trying to pull myself out of the pit that I so often find myself in, that I pass up the opportunity for God to do His work in me. I focus on doing it myself' and in that, I always fail. I end up digging myself deeper and deeper into that pit.

So, for today, I think I 'll shake the dirt off my shoulder and hand over my shovel to the one that can redeem and restore me...and carry on.

What Day Is It Today, Anyway?

I sat at the cereal bowl strewn kitchen table this morning seriously not knowing what day it was. I had to glance up at the calender to get a clue....ah yes, it's Tuesday. I'm not sure if it's the events of the past week (you know, toddler head injury,kids home on break, hubby gone) or what. Maybe it's the steroids I'm on for my carpal tunnel. Maybe I'm just losing what's left of my mind. Maybe it was the very large glass of wine I had on an empty stomach, with a friend last night. I even forgot that I had an extra kid in the house until I looked up to 6 kids around the breakfast table :)

Now that I have figured out what day it actually is, I can begin to sort out the rest of the week. I need to make a list of things to get to make for what I am bringing to my Mom's for Thanksgiving dinner. I need to pay the bills (but it takes money in the bank to do that). I need to clean the basement, again. I think my to do list may end up being a few feet long when it's all said and done.

My little dare-devil is recovering nicely from his concussion. He's up and around and not so cranky today. (so far, but it's only 7:45am...) I've found myself looking at him through different eyes after his ordeal.(and not just my eagle eyes on him constantly) He's so very precious to me. My heart aches at the thought of what could have been. I am eternally thankful that he's healthy and whole.

I think I'll go shower and clear my head...then begin to tackle my list. Maybe I should have some breakfast first to counteract the two cups of coffee I've already had...