What Luck

Although I'm sure luck has nothing to do with it, the events of today have been interesting for sure.

Eli had an appointment with the orthopedist this morning since his wrist was still hurting from falling off a trampoline at a birthday party on the very first day of spring break. Much to my surprise, the doctor, as cranky and ill-bedside mannered as he was, brought to us a diagnosis of a 'Distal Radial Fracture'--right through the growth plate. And to think, I thought he was faking it. I had to apologize to him as the tech casted his arm in bright green fiberglass. What? The kid has been known to be a bit dramatic at times...

I also had an OB appointment today. Non-stress test first, as usual. This time though, unlike the last 5 weeks, the baby had a reactive test in less than 20 minutes. (which is a GOOD thing) So, then off to a room to see the doctor. On the way into the room, the nurse glanced at my chart and said that I needed to have my Group B Strep test. I was given the orders to undress from the waist down, handed a paper drape and told that doctor would be in shortly. Believe me, the Group B Strep test has nothing to do with having a throat culture. It involves a much larger then throat culture size swab which is put into two very private places. Thankfully, it only has to be done once.

I mentioned to the OB that I have been having pain under my ribs on the right side for the last week. She almost grimaced as she palpated my belly. Yes, the baby's butt is up in my ribs, but my liver is also there and felt a bit swollen. So, I was sent off to the lab to have blood tests done for something called HELLP Syndrome. It's a varient of pre-eclampisa and it is not a good thing to have. The only cure is delivery of the baby. I had my labs drawn at around noon and it's now 8pm with no word from the doctor, so I am assuming no news is good news...

It's been a long day...I'm tired and cranky. Signing off to hopefully curl up on my bed for a little R & R.

Later!

They're Baaaaaack!

And it ain't pretty...trust me. My outwardly sweet appearing little girl has begun to travel down the bumpy road of tantrums. Again. A few months back, I was at my wits end dealing with her very l.o.n.g. and loud melt-downs several times a day. Then, she started school and I noticed a HUGE improvement in the frequency of her tantrums. She was down to only a few times a week before bed. The last couple of weeks, however, her tantrums have spiked to a horrible high. I have grown weary of dealing with them. Not a day has passed in the last 20 or so where a tantrum has not been had.

Take today for instance, I can't for the life of me even remember what started the tantrum (I have a vague memory of one of her brothers ticking her off) but it was a persistant tantrum, complete with the biting of herself, throwing herself around thus banging her head on the table and ME getting kicked in the MOUTH by her little flying foot. I think I'd rather block the rest of it out...all hour and a half of it. <<<---blocking memory from my head--->>> All of that to say that it isn't a picnic here. Can somebody please come over and take my children home with you?

I don't even know what day of Spring Break we're on at this point...one far too many, that's for sure. I am ready to head for the hills. Alone. Well, with the baby in my tummy anyway.

Speaking of baby, I am 35 weeks 4 days and completely done being pregnant. I've said that before, haven't I? I am being pummeled by tiny, but powerful knees, elbows and head throughout the day and night. This baby is doing some serious rockin' and rollin' in there :) I have another nst and OB visit scheduled tomorrow. Can't wait.( really, that's NOT sarcasm...I enjoy going to see my OB)

This growing a baby stuff is hard work! But, I'll admit, the work involved AFTER birth (even some almost 12 years later) is even harder. And hey Mom, I'm sorry for all the crap I ever put you through...you are the smartest woman I know and I have a deep appreciation and love for you. I can only hope that one day my children will feel the same about me. Love you!

Of Blizzards and Babies

Today, of all days, in the middle of a major Spring blizzard, my uterus decides to freak out and contract...contract....contract.

I didn't worry until at one point this afternoon I timed 7 contractions in 29 minutes. And since I am famous for rapid labor, we put in a call to the L&D ward and they said we'd better make our way over to the birth center--just in case.

A few hours later, contractions coming every 2-6 minutes the entire time, it was determined that the contractions were 'prodromal' In other words, non-productive (as in not causing any more dilation than I went in with).

It's gonna be a long few weeks...and for now, no baby in the blizzard.

On a funny note, as soon as the kids got home from being watched by the neighbor, Sam caming running up yelling 'Where's the new baby at?!'...totally perplexed as to why I was standing there not holding her in my arms. Gosh, I love that kid.

Day 5

I'm considering cancelling Eli's appointment with the psychiatrist tomorrow and taking his place in the chair myself. Wonder if there's any treatment for prenatal psychosis?

Another long day almost down...thankfully. I was beginning to think that I am the *only* Mom that is being driven completely batty by her children, and the only Mom that wasn't relishing every moment of having her children home. I thought that until I heard other Moms saying the same things that I have been thinking for the last 5 days. Whew! Maybe I'm not so crazy after all.

I will hit 35 weeks of pregnancy tomorrow. I have been contracting regularly, but not in any sort of pattern. Nothing to make me think that labor is near. My belly is gigantic and it's hard to breathe. But, even with all of my complaints, I cherish feeling my baby move around inside--even her sometimes painful pokes and jabs. I even love the big belly, as uncomfortable as it has become.

Signing off...I need sleep before it starts all over again tomorrow.

G'night.

Day 4: Disclaimer, VENT Ahead.

When I went to bed last night, I tried hard to muster up high hopes for today.

No such luck.

I had an appointment at the OB's first thing this morning for another non-stress test. Non-reactive again. Off to the ultrasound room for a bio-physical profile. Whew...baby passed. 8 out of 8--good news. I was relieved to know that the baby is also measuring *exactly* where she should be. I am 34 weeks 5 days and she measured just that. She also packed on 1 pound 3 ounces since the last growth ultrasound 2 weeks ago, putting her at 5lbs 10oz. Thankfully, I've not gained more--still holding at 11 pounds. ( it was 14, but last week I lost 3 for some weird reason) The nst monitor also picked up contractions every 2-3 minutes the whole time I was having the test--nearly an hour. Non-productive, only annoying contractions. My visit to the doctor is not what made the day tough though...it was coming home after that.

I had imagined that my oh-so-attentive husband had finished up the laundry, done the dishes, wiped down the toilets and mopped the yucky, sticky kitchen floor. I guess my imagination ran wild with that one. I came home to every room in the house messier than when I left and none of the aforementioned things done. Except he threw a few dishes in the dishwasher--gotta give him some kind of credit, right? Unfortunatley, he spent the whole morning 'working' on a profit and loss statement for the restaurant.

I cried when I saw the state of affairs, madly swept and mopped the floor on my hands and knees with a rag and bucket, angrily threw clothes in the washer, folded a load of dry clothes, paired an entire basket of socks, wiped down the main toilet, made lunch for all...all with zero response. Not even a glance up from the computer. The kids did tell me to stop crying though. After he finished working, he had about an hour to get ready to actually leave for work. I noticed he was carrying the overflowing (clean and folded) laundry baskets upstairs. I didn't hear from him for a while, so I thankfully assumed he was putting the clothes away.
Nope. Just piled at the end of the bed. Still. He left for work and we won't see him again until tomorrow night. (closing tonight...home by 1am and opening in the morning...back to work by 7am)

Lucky me.

Breathe in, breathe out....breathe in, breathe out....

I suppose I should sign off now in order to avoid venting any more in my emotional-wreck state of mind. I'm beyond tired. And have dealt with more than enough today. And it's only 6:40pm...

Besides, I have to rescue the dog from being pushed with a little too much gusto in the baby swing--I'd hate to have to clean up dog vomit on top of the day I've had :)

(and Mom, I know you're reading...I'm okay, really--just venting!)

Day 3,000

Yeah, I know it's really day 3, but it SO feels like 3,000! I feel like I am being slowly pecked to death by a bunch of little hens.

It wouldn't be so bad if they weren't fighing, whining and yelling...and if Eli weren't flip-flopping between being nice and calm one minute and cussing and being rude the next. Thankfully, he's seeing the psychiatrist this week--maybe she has some ideas for me. I know Eli won't cooperate with her, he never does. But, you can bet I will!

Gracie threw another gigantic tantrum this morning. She used to throw them all the time--as in many times a day. She leveled off and the fits became few and far between. Seems though, tantrum-monster has reared its ugly head again...it has been brutal. Not only on me, but on her too! She can't seriously be hormonal at 5, can she?

Thankfully, hubby will be home until 2pm tomorrow (although he's been gone today since 5am and not expected home until bedtime)...I can have a bit of a reprieve. I have an appointment for a non-stress test which will buy me at least an hour out of the house. But, after that, once he goes to work, we won't see him until Wednesday night as he'll come in late Tuesday night only to return to work early the next morning. All while everyone else is sleeping. I know, I know...be thankful he even has a job...

Signing off...I need sleep.

Day 2

Let's just say that I'm too tired to be of many words tonight. It was a LONG day with an even longer night ahead. Thankfully, even though I am up a lot in the middle of the night, at least it's quiet!

We had a busy day...church (which with that comes way too much stress just to even get out the door to get there), lunch at Noodles, slurpees from 7-11, the park, Blockbuster and finally home. Then it was laundry. Then grocery shopping. Then the putting away of said groceries. Then it was the making of dinner, with of course the cleaning up too. My head hurts just thinking about it all.

Speaking of headaches, Gracie threw a *massive* tantrum tonight and my head is actually throbbing from it. I'm sure hers is too.

Tomorrow promises to be long as well...hubby off to work from 5am to who knows when---probably at least to bedtime.

Can somebody pass me the Calgon and maybe keep an eye on the kids while I soak in it?

Day 1

I've been up since 3am. That's if you can count the 'sleep' I had between 10:30pm and 3am as actual sleep. It was one of those nights where my eyes were closed, but my mind was churning. And then there was the burning pain in my arms and hands from carpal tunnel and the 4 trips to the bathroom. On my 4th trip to the bathroom, as soon as I stood up from the bed, I started to feel a lot of pressure. You know, down there. Not a pressure so bad that I feared the baby falling out, but enough pressure to make me wonder...

I've spent the majority of the day having sporadic contractions, still feeling that pressure. But, since I've birthed five babies already and kinda know what labor feels like, I doubt this is it. I think it's just my body gearing up for labor in the near future. Or you know, the not so near future. I'm pretty sure the baby has 'engaged' and is ready for launch. And I'm also pretty sure that this pregnancy could go on f.o.r.e.v.e.r.

With all of that said, since I did title this post as 'Day 1', I should perhaps mention how the first day of Spring Break went. Actually, it wasn't too bad. We had a big breakfast of blueberry pancakes, bacon and hash browns--and it wasn't even made by me! Hubby and Caleb did the cooking. I did the clean up afterward. I suppose no one has learned from all of the times I've said over the years "If you cook, YOU clean up". Maybe because that's because it's very rare for someone else to do the cooking?

I am really feeling the need/urge/want to get everything ready for the baby to come. The baby swing was dug out of the garage and cleaned up. The drawers filled with freshly washed clothes and blankets, diapers and wipes. I'm nesting for sure. I have SO much I want to do, but I think my plans are bigger than my energy. I'm moving pretty slowly on my puffy feet.

All in all though, it was a pretty darn good day. We even got ice cream...and what pregnant woman doesn't like that?

Here's to tomorrow...and to some sleep tonight.

(Not So) Patiently Going Insane

I freely admit, I am the crankiest pregnant woman on the face of the earth. Ever. In all of history. Really.

I think this has been the most emotional pregnancy for me as of yet. (or ever again.)
I've spent way too much time being mad, irritable, impatient and teary. I'm sure the rest of the family wishes I'd just be nice.

I am ready to have this baby and do baby things. I am ready to feel my fingers again and not have shooting pain in my arms. I'm ready to not get up 45 times during the night to pee. I'm ready to not have heartburn. And I'm REALLY ready to not be cranky--although, I wonder if *that* may be a permanent condition. I'm even ready to change a million diapers a day, ready to be a human pacifier and ready to be awake through the night rocking my baby.

And honestly? I am ready for my husband to have a vasectomy. Yup. I said it. There you go--in writing!

Now, to just get through Spring Break.

I think I can, I think I can...

2 Days and Counting...

Spring break is almost upon us...Spring break? I find the kids being home 24/7 for two whole weeks not much of a break. Who needs it?

Ah, yes, I know the teachers need it. Desperately I'm sure. Just as desperately as much as I need school. I suppose it's a trade off. Thank the Lord for the blessed souls who teach!

I don't have much planned for our two weeks of break. I can just imagine how much fun it will be. Really.

I'm hoping the weather holds out and we can frequent the park and the neighborhood pool. As much as I hold dear to my heart shuttling my angels to school each morning, I am looking forward to not having to rise before the crack of dawn just to hustle around trying to keep everyone on the task of getting ready to leave. No lunches to pack. No homework. But, on the other hand, no early-ish bedtime and no 7 and a half hour break. Lord help me...(and them!)

And because I am so genius, I scheduled dental appointments for all the kids at the same time, you know, so they wouldn't miss any school. I must have failed to remember that I am nearly ready to birth a baby...

I want my Mommy!

Say What?

As I was trying (with begging, pleading, cajoling and bribing) to get my overly hyper son down for bed last night, he made me crack up and almost pee my very pregnant pants. He was sitting up on my bed drumming away with a nylon spoon on a diaper wipes box singing the rock version of 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star'. I told him I was tired, so he must be tired and it was time to settle down. He stopped drumming, looked at me sideways and said "I'm a love handle, and love handles DON'T get tired". He then picked up where he left off with his drumming and singing. I questioned him through giggles about his being a 'love handle'--he just looked at me and shrugged his shoulders, continuing on.

Finally, in what seemed like hours, he nodded off. Snoring and all.

I am very thankful for the gift of sleep--without it, I'd go crazy :)

The Pressure Is On...

Oh the joys and misery of late pregnancy.

I'm no longer sashaying in my walk, but instead, walking has turned into an actual chore--I am waddling. It's been noticed of late that the 'baby has dropped'. Yup, she sure has. I feel like I am trying to hold a watermelon between my thighs. Even the ultrasound tech at my last appointment made mention of how low the baby was. Yeah, duh...

Today, as I was waddling through the automotive section at Wal-Mart while waiting for two new tires to be mounted to my van, I felt some major pressure. So much pressure that it made me reeeeeeeeealy nervous. I've had two precipitous (very rapid labors--as in 18 and 20 minutes, respectively) I so did not want to be known as the 'lady that gave birth in the automotive section', so I waddled my way to the towel aisle, you know, just in case. Hubby comforted me with the fact that the towel aisle was very close to the pharmacy--and we all know that pharmacies are loaded with drugs.

Thankfully, I think the baby was just doing some Kung-Fu moves and shifted her weight, as the pressure subsided and I was able to waddle my way back to pick up the van to head home.

I am 33 weeks along now and baby is weighing in at 4lbs 7oz as of this past Tuesday. She packed on 11 ounces from the week prior. Whoa. I won't even mention what I am weighing in at, but I have packed on 14 pounds thus far...

I am trying to take comfort in the fact that my OB will take pity on me and induce my labor sometime right after I hit 37 weeks or so. (okay, so it's not really because of pity, it's because of my blood pressure)

Until then, I am hanging on...and waddling around.

The Neverending Weekend

When the days are good, they're good...but when they're bad, they're BAD! The past 48 hours have felt like an eternity. Many tears were shed, many words were yelled and many things were thrown. (only the tears were mine, the rest was Eli)

Bipolar disorder truly sucks. I had so much hope when I began to see stabilization in my son when he started his medication. Now, my hope is fleeting as the bad days are running together with hardly a good day in between. Just like before.

I worry about what the stress of it all is doing to the other kids...and I'm sure *my* stress is no picnic for my precious unborn baby girl. Being racked by tears can't be healthy. The frustration is so hard to bear, of course I cry. To be perfectly honest, hearing my child scream in a guttural tone while telling me to go to hell, die, and to f-off is really hard to take. Especially when it's so frequent.

Maybe I was only seeing what I wanted to see in terms of him 'doing better' on the meds. Maybe.

Anyway, just venting...

I've got a busy week ahead so I'm signing off and hitting the sack!

Mish Mash

If you can believe it, yes, I am actually blogging again... I've been out of the blogsphere long enough--between mothering,gestating, and you know, breathing, I've been busy!

I'm 32 million weeks pregnant now and really ready to be done. Nobody warned me that pregnancy at the ripe old age of 34 would be so hard. At this point, I am swollen beyond belief, my blood pressure has been skyrocketing, my arms and hands are painfully numb (yes, pain and numbness can go together) from pregnancy induced carpal tunnel, and I am not very pleasant to be around. If you don't believe me, ask the kids. They'll tell you that mama ain't happy!

I won't bore you with the details of the last couple of months, I'll just move on from here...and do my best to keep blogging!

Tonight though,I'm going to be short winded--time to pop an ambien and hit the pillow.

Here's a pic of my belly full of baby...don't let the roadmap of stretchmarks scare you!